Oh how i miss...

Well, Ive been home for a little over 2 weeks now, and its so good to be home. My heart will never forget what an experience I had over there. Ive always had a heart for travel. I love diving into new cultures and i love everything about the Spanish language. Tonight a program came on about Spain. Apparently its a whole show about Spain and every time they do a different city. It was about Barcelona and it was fun to watch with my dad and let him see what a little of it was like. I miss it so much. I also miss all of my American friends that i made in the program that are all now dispersed all over in their home states. I hope I will see them again. The hardest part for me I think is that i feel like my heart is in two places. I went over there, built relationships, fell in love with the language, my host family, my teachers, the little city i lived in, the pueblo, the restaurants and night life. Life there is so simple. Americans are too materialistic. period. I know that there are materialistic people all over the world, but i love the fact that credit cards aren't very common to use, that most people live in small apartments, have small TVs, and (the older generation) calls cameras a "a little photo machine". I love that you can and have to walk almost everywhere. That people take the time of day to shut everything down and spend lunch with family. I love that kids there can be kids, and that parents play with them or stop in the middle of walking somewhere to play their version of ring around the rosey. I love everything. Ok, not EVERTHING. The food there is not so great, and everyone smokes, and people bump into you with out saying excuse me.
But my point is that over there, life is enjoyed to the fullest.
Ive always hated that phrase "live life to the fullest" but its true. Every single day there is interesting and relaxed. Its not GO GO GO. You walk, take in your surroundings, sit in the plaza, take a break for cafe or tapas or a glass of wine. Spend time with friends and family more. Its life, you only have one. And I'm not saying completely self indulge and be lazy, I'm saying enjoy it! Walk more, take a break for Goodness sake, eat with family and i don't mean in front of the TV.
I miss Spain so much, (i wonder how many more times i can say it), but I cant keep dwelling on how much i hate the fast pace life and materialism here and let it give me a bad attitude. I have to bring a little Spain to my own world. I know there's real life. I know there's hard workers, and things to accomplish. But in the end, none of that REALLY matters. Its the little things, and I am determined to find them here too. It may not be as wonderful or as quaint or original. But i will. Whatever that means.

Some thoughts

So as you know I am now in spain and have been for a few days. and if you know me only by this blog, you may think i am a negative person by the following, however, i absolutely love it here. I can't stop sending emails about how much I am in love with the life and the city here.
However. I have kind of reached a point today where i feel like blogging. Tomorrow we take a placement exam. Depending on how we score, I am placed in a certain level of spanish classes.

Being surrounded by a language you aren't fluent in is a beautiful thing. Your constantly learning, on the streets, in my host home, when I want to buy something, When im ordering food, when I need to know where some place is and the fastest way to get there. When I am unsure of something or simply just to greet someone passing by. But Its also very draining. ESPECAILY when everyone speaks quickly and with a very thick accent that you arent used to. This goal is so much different than something like nursing for example. I am in school to be a nurse, i know it will be hard, but i know that i will be a nurse, and i know that i can do it. This is different. I feel like there is this light at the end of the tunnel that i want to reach SO BAD and i feel like its just impossible. I know its not impossible but it seems like it. It seems so far away. When im in the states and im speaking a little here and there and when im taking classes about spanish its understandable, i feel confident, i feel like i know a lot. But here its so different. ... a big ego crusher. I feel like i know nothing. I feel like just saying the simplest phrase to someone is going to open up this big giant scary conversation that i wont be able to follow. I feel .... stupid. And i hate it. I hate having people view me that way. I hate being that girl who cant communicate... which is what i do. I communicate. I ramble. I like to describe and explain things. (hence my over-descriptive blogs and stories). So not being able to do so is very difficult for me. I know what everyones going to say... It will be ok, you'll pick up on it soon, you've only been here a few days... etc.. etc.. and i agree. its just hard. Plain and simple. Its draining, its frustrating. But i will work hard, I will get where i want to go. I will reach that light at the end of the tunnel... even if its in 10 years. But i will not leave this place feeling like i didnt give it my all.
And on that note
I am leaving to go study.

It's Finally Here!

Well, the time has come. I leave Wednesday morning to go to Spain. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok, sorry...

Anyways, so I have done most of my packing, I have this feeling like I have a million things to do but I dont really know what they are. I keep trying to make a to-do list but that doesn't really work out according to plan.

Im a little nervous because the first 4 days we are there we stay in Madrid, and pretty much are thrown into touring. which is fine with me because, well, its Spain, but Its just going to be a busy few days before we even go to Salamanca and settle in.

Ive never had so many different emotions about one thing before in my life!

Next time I blog I will be in Spain!

Gniog yawa ytrap (read backwards)

For those too lazy to read backwards It says "going away party".
Yesterday my family threw me a going away party. It was fun! We pretty much just talked and ate, and ate, and ate some more. And I got some really thoughtful gifts. I was so glad to get to see my friends and hang out with everyone before I leave!
Here are some pictures :

Me and Mom

Wes

Kona Scared from all of the people. hehe hiding under wes

Some of the girls

Me and Carolina

Hermanas

If you know Nat at all this picture is hilarious

Natosha modeling the food?

Haha the cake. Google the Spanish flag, they messed it up so bad.. its orange! lol

Well its taking forever to download pictures so I quit. But you get the gist.

Yearbook Yourself.

Okay, so its all the rage right now, http://www.yearbookyourself.com/
I saw it first on Brookes blog, and then a few of my friends did it so I tried it today and I seriously couldnt stop laughing. Its so funny.
Here are a few of mine,
Enjoy

tehehehe..

Birthday, thoughts, and fears.. etc..

Well this past weekend was my birthday. I am 21 now.. weird. It was a really good birthday. Saturday Wes took me to this Spanish restaurant called Cafe Madrid. It was a really cute and thoughtful idea, he wanted to take me somewhere where I could try Spanish food and it was a cool experience. the food was yummy. Afterwards we went to Cheesecake factory and got cheesecake and coffee on the patio. It was fun!
Sunday, my actual birthday, my mom took me to La Madelin where we ate lunch on the patio and had a glass of wine (really good wine) after that Carolina and Karina came over to visit, then we had a family dinner at my house (with Wes there) and my dad made my favorite meal, veggie spaghetti (which is really just chunks of squash and stuff mixed in with noodles, not really spaghetti and cedar plank Salmon. MMM..... . It was a really good birthday, or birthdays, i guess i should say, and everyone was really generous and made me feel special :)

I leave for Spain two weeks from today. I know its a redundant topic at this point, but its REALLY starting to hit me. Its affecting my dreams, the other night I had a dream that I got to Spain and everyone spoke English. At first I was really relieved but then I got really angry because I wanted to learn Spanish. Of course I still want to go and I am excited its just very scary entering into a situation that I have never been in before because I dont know how I will cope, I will just have to learn along the way.

I had to come all the way to denton today to sign one thing. I didnt want to waste the gas so i rode with Carolina, which meant I had to get up at 5:00 in the morning and stay here til 3. Everyone thinks I am crazy but Its crunch time on saving for Spain and I need every bit of gas I can get.

I guess my posts are boring because I dont have pictures.. Maybe I will post a few from my birthday then someone with actually read it :)

A lot of Random thoughts... Blogging at work

So much for Labor Day Weekend. Friday 7-close, Sat 9-2/6-close, Sunday 4-close. I guess that's what you get though when you tell your manager you need money. I am thankful for the hours, but this will be rough, I work everyday this week. I am blogging at work. They make us come in at 9 but we don't open until 11. And I cant start confirming reservations until about 10 or I get chewed out (I don't blame them). So I have an hour to burn.

I leave in about three weeks. Its funny when people ask me if I am excited it always seems to throw me off a little, even though I am of course, and I should be used to that question by now. I guess its just because there are so many emotions about leaving that it's hard to pin-point how I'm feeling. I did come to a conclusion yesterday though that changed my whole outlook on the trip. I've been feeling a little unsure about my ability to really accomplish the whole reason why I am going, to be fluent. Then I read this quote in API's online orientation and this guy had basically said that "you can go to Spain and hardly speak any Spanish, or you can go to Spain and hardly speak any English, the choice is yours". I guess that's when I realized that how much I learn over there really depends on me. I'm going to have to get over being embarrassed, and looking stupid and just learn to laugh at myself and speak as much as possible and study as much as possible. I may not come back fluent, but my goal is to come back and not regret any wasted time there, to come back and feel like I gave it my all. Afterall, its not over when I come back, I still have time to "tweak". I have to take a class when I get back where we read Spanish novels. Hopefully, like my micro teacher says, it will "tie up everything Ive learned in a nice little bow". On a lighter note I found out my host mom's name is Carmen, she lives with a 17 year old daughter named Paula, and its a 10 min walk from school, non smoking, no pets, and my roommate is named Amie. Shes really nice I've talked to her on facebook. That's pretty much all I know.

I finished nannying yesterday. It's going to be sad and I am going to miss Gabriel. I think we grew kind of attached to each other. His mom was really upset and crying when I left, I really love that family they are so sweet, I will miss them.

Last week was kind of a rough week, for a few reasons I don't need to blog about but mainly because last week we found out that Wes' dad has stage 4 cancer. I won't go into details but he is doing great and about to start chemo and I think he is going to do really well. Hes really strong and so is Wes. So whoever is reading if you could say a prayer for him.

That's pretty much It. I guess I should actually go to work now.
TTFN

Dear great void,

How do you interpret nothing?

I guess Ill blog.

Yesterday was Wes and Kevin's 2nd show. I didn't think i could make it but i got off work early (they didnt give me the night off). I was glad I made it. Their music is so pretty.

I finished Art and Patho.

Next week is the last week of my nanny job.

I leave for Spain in about a month and I am freaking out. (understatement)

The end.

I started to write a blog, and then i realized that i really don't have anything interesting to say about my life.
So i think I will take this opportunity to say,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE!

(tomorrow).
I love you, you are a very special friend to me, and I hope your day is very special too.

breathe your peace, breathe your peace on us, that we might breathe you deep.

I write not for sympathy, but for prayers.
A few months ago my uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer. He had been previously diagnosed with emphysema, and they warned him to quit smoking but he didn't until he was diagnosed with cancer. He is in the hospital now because he is becoming delirious and they've found its spread to his bones and possibly his brain. At this point its just a matter of days or hours. I think the hardest part for me, even though I am sad, is to see my dad loose his brother and best friend. My dads NASCAR buddy. My dad used to spend hours on the phone every Sunday talking about the race with my uncle Ronnie and Grandpa. Soon it will just be him. Kind of makes me want to start watching it.
My Uncle Ronnie is "the crazy one" in the family, always loud, the life of the party type, but has the sweetest and most gentle heart. He never took life to seriously and hes gotten a lot of crap for it over the years from my family but that is what I love about him. He never let anyone bring him down. I can't find one picture where hes not wearing a crazy Hawaiian shirt or making a funny gesture or laughing. Hes so sweet too. At stage four cancer, July 4th weekend, he came down to make his rounds to all of his family. I love how my brother got to see him, him and my Uncle were lighting fireworks at the Elementary school by my house, and when the neighbors came out and yelled at them my Uncle wanted to "blow up their mailbox". I just love him and I'll miss him a lot.
Every time the phone rings I feel sick. I know its inevitable, its just hard...

1 Year

Today was me and Wes's one year anniversary, It was a really good day.

The day started out with him giving me an unexpected coach purse. It was really sweet because the purse has a purpose, Its one of those over-the-shoulder small ones so that I won't get pick pocketed while I'm in Europe and so no one can grab my purse. I thought it was really sweet and generous and a good surprise.
Then he took me to Market Street where we got REALLY yummy sandwiches and fruit and then he took me to the park and had a picnic. It was so fun!

Then we went to the mall because (well this is another story but I guess I'll explain.) Wes got a really good graphic design job and then was able to quit his job at Nautica, this week was his last week, so he used his discount to get me some sweet shoes, but we had to get a different size. So that's why we went to the mall.

Then we went to my house and hung out until about 7:00 where we went to NAAN, a really cool sushi restaurant. The food there was SO YUMMY, we had sushi and hot green tea and edamame and rice.. we ate a lot.

Then we walked around the shops in Allen and got Starbucks, and sat on a bench by the little pond. then we went swimming and now I'm home!

Today was a really fun day. Unfortunately I forgot my camera for the second part of the day so I only got pictures of the picnic.
I'm so blessed to have Wes and it was such a fun day just enjoying each other and having fun!

This is the type of purse he got me, it's not the same one but I couldn't find it,

mine has red on it.

This is our really yummy lunch. I had a grilled veggie panini. SO GOOD
his had bacon on it...

Our feetsies, it was a pretty day.

The rest are just silly pictures that Wes and I took..
This is Wes' scary moster face

???

It took forever to get a good picture...

There are more silly pictures but I won't bore you with redundancy. Maybe later.

I love wes!

My favorite things.

I thought i'd steal Kates Idea and put some of my favorite things. I dont really have anything off the top of my head right now so this will be interesting...

1. Sushi. I love sushi, I crave it all the time, every day. ITS SO GOOD. I also have a thing for soy sauce but that can be implied.


2. charcoal. - My favorite media- My favorite part is getting messy


3.Bubble tea- also known as "boba tea" - love it or hate it. I love it.


4.The shower.-can i put this on here? Its my favorite place and favorite part of the day. Where I am the most alone.


5.Toms shoes- very comfortable. For every pair of shoes you buy, Toms shoes gives one to a child in need. I think they are cute. Mine actually broke because i wore the crap out of them so I need to invest in a new pair.


6. Post-it flags- They make studying so much easier and organized. You can never have too many.


7. My diffuser. you can't blow dry curly hair without one, you just can't.


8. "Emergen C"- By reccomendation of Kate, these things work miracles. Take it right when you feel like your getting sick and it gives you a kick of energy and vitamins. I swear these things have saved me from getting sick multiple times.
I like rasberry


9. Speedo goggles. If you like to swim laps, these goggles are the one and only. They never get foggy or leak water into your eye (yes eye, singular, its always just one). I can't swim laps with out them. I like the ones with the light blue caps on the eyes it makes the water look pretty. hehe


10. bobby pins. You just can't live without them.


11. Fox 40- Although I am currently not lifeguarding this whistle is AWESOME. its so loud, it has no ball in it, or its "pealess", so it doesnt sound funny if it gets wet. Its good for blowing and yelling "KNOCK IT OFF". or just blowing.


Well there you have it. I dont have many cool original items that no one has heard of, but these are some of my favorite things.

UPDATE

Well, lets see,
Galveston was fun. The first day i got there I didn't understand why people call it "crappy". But the more time you spend there the more you see that it is in fact a little ghetto. But its very pretty and its a beach so who cares. Wes and I went on a walk last night and when we passed this bridge that has water under it running into the creek, we both thought we smelled Galveston. If that gives you any idea.
Anywho, So the first day we helped them move in, blah blah. The next day it rained, so we went and saw "Hancock". (which was not my decision.) But it wasn't THAT bad, it was pretty cute. Then that night, which was the 4th, it stopped raining and we went and watched fireworks on the beach. It was really fun. while walking down the beach, we came across these rocks that had little tide pools around them. We only had 2 flashlights, but we stooped there a while and found all kinds of critters, like crab and stuff. The next day we went to the beach all day and Wes got sunburned, I did on my face because I forgot to put sunscreen on my face, and apparently we didn't get a high enough SPF for Wes. That night we came back to the rocks, this time with more flashlights and explored a while, it was fun.
Well that in a nutshell was my trip.

My life is about to get very busy. ill explain more later.

I roll the window down,
and then begin to breathe, in.
The darkest country road, and the strong scent of evergreen,
from the passenger seat
as you are driving me home
then looking upward
I strain my eyes and try,
to tell the difference between,
shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat as
you are driving me home

do they collide?
I ask, and you smile
with my feet on the dash, the world doesn't matter

When you feel embarrassed, Ill be your pride.
when you need directions, Ill be the guide.
For all time,
for alllllllllll timmmmmeee..

I feel like a piece of me is dusty

ART. I miss it. Everytime i see picture of someone's art online, I get this sick feeling like im missing out on something. Why dont I just do it you ask? Because... I
dont know.

I think the main reason is because It always seems to take priority over things that need to get done. Like right now, I am blogging about how i miss art, while i should be studying for patho. see? I think, though, that I shall make it a point to dust off that inner artist in me and try to just do it without it getting in the way of school.

cool.

Galveston

Im going on a mini vacation! Wes' uncle is paying for our food and gas for come down to Galveston for two days to help them unpack and move into their new house. Im excited because it just-so-happens to fall on the 4th of July so we will get to celebrate on the beach. (although I hear the beaches there are "crappy", it's still a beach, right?)
Any who.

Also, Kona got a cold, and now Bentley has it. Its so sad, they keep sneezing. We took them to the vet and got them some medicine, but last night bentley was kind of acting like he had a fever. He isnt as resilient as Kona is.

I got a book in the mail from API (academic programs international). It talks about spainsh culture and what to pack, etc.. According to the book, it is considered rude in Spain to eat with your hands in your lap, you are supposed to keep your hands visible at all times or you are considered "sneaky". It is a custom that goes back hundreds of years, when people could have been hiding a weapon or something under the table. Also, Its really common to have a pair of house shoes, to take your shoes off at the door and put on when you are in the house because if you walk around barefoot you might get a cold hehe.
I think something I am really going to struggle with, that I already knew about is the fact that they tell time like military time. Im not very quick in my head with basic math, and thats what I feel like Im doing everytime I try to figure it out. haha that will be interesting.

Caution.. whiney blog entry below

is it really meant for me to go to spain? I am starting to wonder. I dont understand what I am doing wrong. Why cant for once, everyone go as planned, everything just work out. It was. I was making just the right amount of money. Now, Unless by some miracle i get a job that pays like 400$ a week, There is no way I can save enough money to go to spain. on top of that, I was relieved that atleast the program cost/tuition was paid for. Except only to find out today that the financial aid officer made a tiny little mistake telling me that my financial aid equaled 8,500$ (my program being 8,100) and actually the financial aid is only 5,750. So now, on top of saving for money to live off of, I have to come up with 2,350 more dollars just so i can even go.
I know i sound dramatic, theres far worse thing that could be happening in my life. I am so blessed. But its just disheartening when something you want so bad seems so unrealistic and hard to reach when you had every detail planned out. Its the worst feeling to be sitting at home, doing nothing, when you need to be working because I cant get any more hours from Jaspers.


I should be studying instead of blogging.

Our Daily Monsters

So Wes discovered this artist named Stefan G. Bucher, who creates these really cute monsters by taking ink and blowing it, then drawing off of that ink. Its really interesting and you can see these monsters at http://344design.typepad.com/344_loves_you/
There is a video on there that shows him drawing a monster so you can better see how its done.
Anyways, Wes had the idea that we should make our own monsters. So we dug out our old art supplies and here is what we came up with:

This is Melvin, Wes did this one. I like it. This one is my favorite.

Poor Dr. Kenneth, I can't seem to get him right-side-up. Wes did this one too.

This one is my favorite (of mine) Her name is Darla.
This is Sebastian.





This is Wes' favorite of mine. His name is Marcos. He is wearing a purple bow tie.

Well that was fun, I encourage all to try it too! its a fun project and you can email him your creations.

Waiting

Well I got notice today that I am "among the top candidates" and that i will find out if i got the nanny job in the next day or so. Part of me has this feeling like its not going to work out and I wouldnt really be that upset about it. I kind of need something that is more hours and more money. We will see what happens.
For the past two days, I have had a sore throat. Its that nagging sore throat that kind of gives you that gagging feeling but you can still eat and stuff. Its really not that painful, just annoying. But the weird part is otherwise I am perfectly fine and I have no symptoms. My glands are swollen and look really nasty. I hope it goes away soon ive never experienced a sore throat with no other symptoms.

my life is really exciting.
da end.

But my Brain knows better...

I think this song is beautiful.

I got a few personal trainer sessions. My arms hurt.
I need to go study for pathophysiology.
I feel bored.
My family went to LA this weekend to see natosha. By family I mean Mom Dad and Cam. I stayed home because i had to work and Kendra too (but she lives in denton). So I was all alone this weekend. It was relaxing yet kind of lonely and I am glad they are coming home today.

Just breathe.

Today Parker, (the kid I nanny for) walked for the first time. He took two steps and he stood up without holding onto anything. But I was so excited. I haven't been that excited in a long time, and hes not even mine. I have been getting in the grove of things (his schedule and temperament) and been forming sort of an attachment with him. Its weird because he can't even talk, but hes so smart. when you ask him "Parker, where's your shirt?" He smiles really big and yanks at his shirt a few times.
Well today, after showing his mom that he can sort of walk, She told me that his grandmother will be moving to Texas the week after next and that I won't be needed anymore. I know she feels bad, she told me and her eyes were watering and I understand she feels like she can't deny her mother-in-law, I just feel so disappointed.With this job and Jaspers I was making just enough money to save for Spain and be comfortable at the same time. I can work at jaspers now more but in all honesty, I don't like it. I work there because I need to and because it is temporary. Now i have to work there every day. Bummer.

The more i think about it, and I know this sounds dramatic, I wish that she'd call me and say, Actually, Raquel, we like you better than grandma.


But I didn't think id be this sad, I feel so discouraged and I don't think i can get nearly the same amount of hours at Jaspers alone. On top of that I planed my school schedule around it so if i were to find another nanny job, It could only be Tuesdays and Thursdays and the chances of that are slim.

I'm anxious to see what God has in store. I don't really understand it. I felt like everything was right and perfect, and maybe that was just it, if everything is perfect I'm not growing. I trust that God will provide for me, I just wish that I didn't have to stop my nanny job, I really enjoyed it.For once I didn't dread going to work.

I know that this problem is a grain of sand compared to people who get laid off and can no longer feed their families. I know I am being a baby, I am just discouraged.

Show time

tonight wes is playing at the door with his friend Kevin, Kevin plays the guitar and sings and wes sings. I think they are really good but my opinion may be considered biased. All are welcome to attend! I am excited for him, this has always been one of his dreams hes had but never thought hed do and I think he is really excited/nervous but he will do great. I will be the only one in the crowd singing their songs though hehe.
I think we should write chipotle and tell them to make their portions smaller. Everytime i eat there, even if i don't eat the whole bowl, I am still really full because Its so good, I can't seem to stop myself reasonably... and think of all the food they waste. pitty.
And i would just like to dedicate this part of my blog to say how delightful their cilantro lime rice is.. mmm

anyhow, I had to get up at 6 am today to go to Jaspers and "clean house". It was fun as far as the people that were there but we cleaned a whole lot and didn't even get normal pay and I am tired theres something about getting up before the sun though that is so refreshing. Its weird, I would rather get up at say, 6 then 7:30 or 8, Its almost like i get up easier when its dark outside.

Peace, burrito bowls, and music

2:36 A.M

I can't sleep.


life is plateau-ing out a little as far as things to do. I have tendinitis and bursitis in my hip. supposedly its common in people who swim a lot. I am a life guard. I am glad its not something like 'hey you have arthritis here's some pain medicine" Instead i get to do physical therapy and make it all better. for that i rejoice. I dont really understand why it is spelled tendinitis, when tendon is spelled with an o.
"You gots that tendin-itis."
is what it makes me think of.
Any who. did you know its not really inflammation of the "tendin".. which makes its name "redundant" according to wikipedia, considering "itis" is commonly known for meaning inflammation.



"When people do this " " I dont really know what that means."



there is this black void inside of me. It is a kate-sized void.
Dirk was going to eat at Jasper's tonight but he didn't show. I was disappointed.
The end.

Lately

My life is more crazy than its ever been (which doesn't say much haha). I am trying to apply for nursing school, while taking care of a bunch of paper work for Spain (more work than it sounds), and applying for summer school to TWU and Quad C (also turning out to be more work than it should and trying to get a couple Scholarship applications out.
I just found out that I not only have to take Art (which wasnt a big deal) but now i have to take Pathophysiology. Which is actually a blessing because I wasnt able to take it, because I would have to commute to Denton or Dallas and I am working two jobs, but my advisor signed me up for the online class which is only for RN to BS students, which was really nice of her. So I cannot complain, it will really help me when i start nursing so that I don't have to take patho, pharmacology, and clinicals at the same time. So life is acutally really good, just busy. I haven't had time to unpack because ive worked everyday and every second ive had off I have had to spend running errands, making calls and filing out paper work (okay and maybe some blogging). Most importantly, I miss my friends, and I haven't had time to hang out with anyone yet since school ended, which is making me sad. I think I shall take off a weekend from Jaspers just to catch my breath.
I started my nanny job. I am watching a little 14 mo. old named Parker. Hes really sweet, and lets just say watching a baby is not as easy as I thought! This goes out to all full time mothers because it is hard work. Im glad its only 2 days a week but i do enjoy it. The mom is really nice and really into organics and she takes really good care of him, it's also giving me a lot of experience for the future (my career, silly) since I want to work in neonatal or NICU.
Anyways, that is my lately.

I'm Leaving, on a Jet plane....

Well, today was probably one of the most exciting days I've had in a long time!
First of all, I was awaken by Academic Programs International, telling me that i was accepted to the university of Salamanca!!! So I bought my plane ticket today! ITS OFFICIAL!
Then, I got a letter in the mail saying that I recieved a scholarship in place of that one that didn't work out...
THEN... I had an interview with a really nice lady to nanny and her baby is so sweet, he is the happiest baby I have ever seen..
It doesnt seem like my day was as eventful as it felt, but It was a really good day. I am excited for this summer and all of the new doors opening in my life.
Metaphorically speaking, of course.

{Insert sigh of relief} Im moving on!

IM DONE!!!
Thanks be to God for the strength of getting through today. I had a Spanish 2 hour final exam this morning and a 2 hour microbiology exam tonight. Doesn't sound like a lot but that combined with hours of studying I feel a burden lifted off of me. Oh so dramatic! Anyways, Im not technically done, I am studying for my Sociology exam tomorrow but its only 6 questions that require a written response and she already told us the questions so its not really that big of a deal. I got so excited i already started packing. My room is really dirty and cluttery now and i am kind of regretting it, but oh what a happy day, I get to move out of the Dorms!

ESTUDIA!

Well the time has come..
FINALS.
I am studying for my spanish exam so i thought it was appropriate to have the title in Spanish. Then I have my Microbiology exam (pray for me) and then Wednesday should by my easy exam for my sociology class. She pretty much already told us the test (its a written exam). Then Wednesday I move out of my Dorm. I'm very excited. I'm going to miss the convenience of walking to class and having everything near by, but I am so ready to move out! I feel like ive been living at Camp for the past two years. This week is so bitter sweet, so excited the semester is done yet having to study for finals. I cant believe school is over in two days, this semester went by so fast. This isn't just an ordinary last week of school. Its my last week in Denton, Last week of prerequisites, and the start of (hopefully) nursing school and spain. So exciting yet scary at the same time!

Consoled a cup of coffee, but it didn't want to talk...

Do you ever have those songs that lyrically, do no apply in anyway to your life, but you get the feeling like they do when you hear them? Does that even make sense?
Well this is one of those songs....

Well a few hours later (see below entry) and I have received this email.
Im glad everything worked out. It seems kind of like they have to pull money from somewhere else but at this point i am apathetic about it. Im thankful it worked out.


Dear Raquel,

I have had a chance now to look over my scholarship materials and find that indeed I have made an error regarding your application. The Honors and Awards Committee will rectify this error as soon as possible, and we will communicate with you within a few days. You will receive a scholarship. We will require a little time to work out the details.

I am deeply sorry for your disappointment today. You were quite right to inquire about the matter. Otherwise we would not have known about it.

I hope that you will have a little patience as we set things right for you.

Best wishes,

Vivian Casper
Chair, Honors and Awards Committee

A Rollercoaster of a week

Prepare your self for this..

A week ago, I got a letter that said, congratulations the following students have received a 1,000 dollar scholarship (for Spanish minors). Below, was a list of names, with mine included. It continued to say that I was to dress nice and come to a ceremony, where i would receive an award and a letter stating the details of the scholarship. So today I put a dress on and some heels ( I don't do heels that well either), and I go to the ceremony. There were several student's names that were called, and long story short, mine was not one of them. After the ceremony, before refreshments, I went up to the Dean in charge explaining that i received a letter saying that i got a scholarship and an invitation to the ceremony, but my name was not called. She said she was sorry and that she did not know what happened, and brushed me off. I left the ceremony very embarrassed, discouraged, and disappointed. What happened? I'm not really sure. My mom furiously contacted whoever she could and somehow got a hold of some people and yelled at them. But in all truth, I just want the $ 1,000 and the 3 hours i wasted at the ceremony back.
But, that is life, and i spent an hour bawling my eyes out just because this was the icing on the cake, or the icing on my week, rather.
But after i got over myself, I realized that this is simply the enemy trying to discourage me in a time of new beginnings. A lot of things have been coming together as far as studying abroad, and I trust that the LORD is going to provide for me to go on this trip. I just hope that this never happens to anyone else because it is very very disappointing.

And through it all, i realized how blessed I am, and how maybe that money mistakenly went to someone who needs it more than I do.

well, that was my day.

A need and a want.

I have been visiting a few different churches with my family. Its a very discouraging situation, and i feel like my mom is so discouraged to the point of where she is just willing to go anywhere. I just have this longing for a church that really honors the sacredness and Holiness that i believe a church should posses. And I do not mean this by any offense, because only God can see the hearts of others, I just cannot feel comfortable going to a church with a coffee shop in it (that is just an example).And it is a great way to create fellowship and I'm not bashing churches who have one, its just not something i can feel comfortable with.
Every church i seem to go to lately reminds me of the story of "Jesus and the money changers" when Jesus goes through the temple and turns over the tables of the "vendors", if you will.. I just cannot have peace about it. But it is like the new thing now to make church cool, and modern, and i just long so badly for somewhere genuine and holy and not flashy.Today I went to a church and i loved everything about the people and the diversity there, but the whole sermon was about me, me, me... The whole time i felt like they were just saying what you want to hear. I don't know. I don't expect flawlessness, I just wish that this piece of my life would be fufilled, and I want to go somewhere where i feel like the leadership isn't wearing a mask.


On a lighter note I want a nanny job. And i can't find one.

What the world, needs now...

Complaining is boring and certainly unflattering, but today I feel so tired. I can't explain it. Its a different tired, where i don't even want to talk and then i feel frustrated when i have to repeat myself. Which is my fault because i was mumbling in the first place. I have no reason to be tired. I just am. And I just feel like going to sleep forever. Its almost like some kind of imbalance like i need to eat something to give me a boost or take some vitamins.

I am at work right now, off stand from life guarding, and there is this man who comes every day at 4:00 and he is probably in his late 80's. He is the sweetest and happiest-looking man i have ever met. If you even so much as look him in the eye he will stop what he is doing and ask you how you are, or tell you how every day is a good day. He makes me happy. You can tell he has peace and that God's love shines through him all the time. (and he has a tattoo hehe) But anyways. My point is, is that a couple of weeks ago he looked at me and said "that is a nice lady" (referring to this very old woman who comes every day and wears this floating thing around her neck so she doesn't drown). And that was all he said.
Well she is actually very nice, i just never knew it until now because she appears grumpy and so i didn't want to bother her. and I am thankful that he (unknowingly) called me out on it.
Anyways. I just thought i would share that story. I admire older people who are full of love because many of them are full of anger.

P.s the new chronicals of narnia is comming out (prince Caspian) May 16th. IM SO EXCITED

I just saw Kate and Scotts blog. Mine is really lame.
Whats even more lame is two posts in one day. Is that even allowed?

Well lets see..
Today was my favorite day of the year at my school. It was our Spring Fling and Earth Day celebration (even though earth day was yesterday). Every spring we have an organic vegetarian buffet, which not many go to because they don't understand that vegetarian food is amazing... But they give away really healthy good food and organic ice cream. Then you get a lot of other free things. This year we got a bigger canvas bag than last year and a cup and those efficient light bulbs (which I am still trying to weigh out the pros and cons of because they have mercury in them..) Now i must get back to reality and write a 5 page paper. But the rain so enticing, I want to fall asleep.
goodnight sweet void.