Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Where is this country headed?
Really take a look at the changes in the past 100 woopty-doo days and see how much has changed. Most of it under your nose. Does anyone out there care? Does anyone even realize! one little change at a time. Where will we be 4 years from now...
Everyone needs to stop just going with the flow and realize how much change is really happening.

One thing that I just cannot get over is the carelessness with abortion. I don't understand the numbness to it. Do some research on it and tell me if that doesn't give you a glimpse into the hearts of your leaders.

Imagine a baby has just been induced prematurely and left to die as a form of abortion. Imagine the baby put in a room with no comfort or medical care to suffer and die. All of its energy being used to fight for one breath after another. Did you know that your president DEFENDED that?
That's beyond "choice".

This country has sat back and watched one slow change after the other. This is beyond stupid math and bad ideas. This is our country and everyone is just going with the flow and accepting change. Its fair enough if someone is informed and still agrees, but i promise you that if you tested the understanding of the American people of what was really going on, and what they REALLY believed and stood for, it wouldn't be such a "go with the flow" attitude.
I'm just tired of people not paying attention and not caring.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Almost done..

Well... Ive almost made it.
I am taking tonight off from everything. Today I sat in the sun and read (nothing school related). Then i went on a walk with my mom, and now I am going to go excersize which has slipped out of my agenda somehow this week. This week was really rough. I had a test Monday, an oral presentation Tuesday, a Check off Wednesday and today a Simulation. I'm glad its over. Have you ever had one of those weeks where you keep over sleeping, losing things and just being really irresponsible? I haven't had any trouble with that all semester and then all the sudden the past few days I have been over sleeping, couldn't find my scrubs (found them in the towel closet?) or my work out shoes (today I found them laying on top of one of the baskets I tore apart looking in..) This morning i woke up got ready, was doing good with time. As i started to make my bed I looked at the clock to see how much time i had.. "oh I'm ok its only 7:50".... 7:50!!!! I was supposed to leave at 6:50!! I had set my clock for 6:50 instead of 5:50... And i didn't even notice until I was done getting ready!I was so mad at myself.
Tis why I am taking a break tonight! I think my brain is over worked...

I can't believe how much I have learned this semester. I don't mean that boastfully but I have had so much information shoved down my throat and its finally starting to organize its self in my brain and all come together. I have a love/hate relationship with nursing school. I love what I'm learning, I love the friends I have made and the opportunities i get in the hospital to practice. I hate being nervous but sometimes wonder if its the challenging and scary situations that I like to put myself in the most. I think its because I have always been a very timid nervous person about everything. Its a part of me I don't think will ever go away 100% but Ive learned to push myself out of my comfort zone. When I learned to do shots, the time I was supposed to pick out my first patient I was so nervous and hoped that I didn't get one who needed an injection. But to my own surprise ended up purposefully picking a guy with diabetes to get over my fear so that I wouldn't have to be scared about it any more. I think Spain has taught me that valuable lesson and I will try not to ignore it. Sometimes its when you force yourself out of your comfort zone when you learn the most. I love TWU and how they teach us so much more than academics. They really emphasise being a good nurse. "What kind of nurse do you want to be" is something one of my instructors always says. Nurses can get away with not going into the Patients room but documenting that they did, or they can go in there, do an assessment (they DO know how to do that you know) and stay on top of things informing the physician and requesting orders. I used to always wonder if I would be a "good" nurse but now i know that its not just being good at it its actually doing it and doing it with the right intentions, to be the patient's advocate; knowing that I know I will be a good one.
I know I sound brainwashed but its interesting to go into a hospital and see nurses who are so wonderful and nurses who don't care.
The hate aspect is that I feel that I am neglecting everyone around me. I try so hard to keep my head above the water yet I forget about the ones I love. Lately I have been trying to be better at it. you just get so consumed.
I still think about Spain. Its so surreal now. Sometimes I just lay in bed not able to sleep because months of memories are just flashing through my mind. I feel like my heart is still in two places, and its hard. I miss my friends and the culture there. I miss the lifestyle and it makes it harder when I don't have time to enjoy the things i did there. I hate when people say they don't have time to enjoy things, because its about making time, but really, I do, I just cant make as much time as before. I feel like a part of me is missing, and I hate admitting that because I shouldn't define myself that way. I just miss it.
I want to study abroad again next summer in Costa Rica but I am more afraid after I have studied abroad than i was before I went to Spain. I think I am a little scared to get attached again. but...[refer to previously mentioned life lesson]