Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Well a few hours later (see below entry) and I have received this email.
Im glad everything worked out. It seems kind of like they have to pull money from somewhere else but at this point i am apathetic about it. Im thankful it worked out.

Dear Raquel,

I have had a chance now to look over my scholarship materials and find that indeed I have made an error regarding your application. The Honors and Awards Committee will rectify this error as soon as possible, and we will communicate with you within a few days. You will receive a scholarship. We will require a little time to work out the details.

I am deeply sorry for your disappointment today. You were quite right to inquire about the matter. Otherwise we would not have known about it.

I hope that you will have a little patience as we set things right for you.

Best wishes,

Vivian Casper
Chair, Honors and Awards Committee

A Rollercoaster of a week

Prepare your self for this..

A week ago, I got a letter that said, congratulations the following students have received a 1,000 dollar scholarship (for Spanish minors). Below, was a list of names, with mine included. It continued to say that I was to dress nice and come to a ceremony, where i would receive an award and a letter stating the details of the scholarship. So today I put a dress on and some heels ( I don't do heels that well either), and I go to the ceremony. There were several student's names that were called, and long story short, mine was not one of them. After the ceremony, before refreshments, I went up to the Dean in charge explaining that i received a letter saying that i got a scholarship and an invitation to the ceremony, but my name was not called. She said she was sorry and that she did not know what happened, and brushed me off. I left the ceremony very embarrassed, discouraged, and disappointed. What happened? I'm not really sure. My mom furiously contacted whoever she could and somehow got a hold of some people and yelled at them. But in all truth, I just want the $ 1,000 and the 3 hours i wasted at the ceremony back.
But, that is life, and i spent an hour bawling my eyes out just because this was the icing on the cake, or the icing on my week, rather.
But after i got over myself, I realized that this is simply the enemy trying to discourage me in a time of new beginnings. A lot of things have been coming together as far as studying abroad, and I trust that the LORD is going to provide for me to go on this trip. I just hope that this never happens to anyone else because it is very very disappointing.

And through it all, i realized how blessed I am, and how maybe that money mistakenly went to someone who needs it more than I do.

well, that was my day.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

A need and a want.

I have been visiting a few different churches with my family. Its a very discouraging situation, and i feel like my mom is so discouraged to the point of where she is just willing to go anywhere. I just have this longing for a church that really honors the sacredness and Holiness that i believe a church should posses. And I do not mean this by any offense, because only God can see the hearts of others, I just cannot feel comfortable going to a church with a coffee shop in it (that is just an example).And it is a great way to create fellowship and I'm not bashing churches who have one, its just not something i can feel comfortable with.
Every church i seem to go to lately reminds me of the story of "Jesus and the money changers" when Jesus goes through the temple and turns over the tables of the "vendors", if you will.. I just cannot have peace about it. But it is like the new thing now to make church cool, and modern, and i just long so badly for somewhere genuine and holy and not flashy.Today I went to a church and i loved everything about the people and the diversity there, but the whole sermon was about me, me, me... The whole time i felt like they were just saying what you want to hear. I don't know. I don't expect flawlessness, I just wish that this piece of my life would be fufilled, and I want to go somewhere where i feel like the leadership isn't wearing a mask.

On a lighter note I want a nanny job. And i can't find one.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

What the world, needs now...

Complaining is boring and certainly unflattering, but today I feel so tired. I can't explain it. Its a different tired, where i don't even want to talk and then i feel frustrated when i have to repeat myself. Which is my fault because i was mumbling in the first place. I have no reason to be tired. I just am. And I just feel like going to sleep forever. Its almost like some kind of imbalance like i need to eat something to give me a boost or take some vitamins.

I am at work right now, off stand from life guarding, and there is this man who comes every day at 4:00 and he is probably in his late 80's. He is the sweetest and happiest-looking man i have ever met. If you even so much as look him in the eye he will stop what he is doing and ask you how you are, or tell you how every day is a good day. He makes me happy. You can tell he has peace and that God's love shines through him all the time. (and he has a tattoo hehe) But anyways. My point is, is that a couple of weeks ago he looked at me and said "that is a nice lady" (referring to this very old woman who comes every day and wears this floating thing around her neck so she doesn't drown). And that was all he said.
Well she is actually very nice, i just never knew it until now because she appears grumpy and so i didn't want to bother her. and I am thankful that he (unknowingly) called me out on it.
Anyways. I just thought i would share that story. I admire older people who are full of love because many of them are full of anger.

P.s the new chronicals of narnia is comming out (prince Caspian) May 16th. IM SO EXCITED

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I just saw Kate and Scotts blog. Mine is really lame.
Whats even more lame is two posts in one day. Is that even allowed?
Well lets see..
Today was my favorite day of the year at my school. It was our Spring Fling and Earth Day celebration (even though earth day was yesterday). Every spring we have an organic vegetarian buffet, which not many go to because they don't understand that vegetarian food is amazing... But they give away really healthy good food and organic ice cream. Then you get a lot of other free things. This year we got a bigger canvas bag than last year and a cup and those efficient light bulbs (which I am still trying to weigh out the pros and cons of because they have mercury in them..) Now i must get back to reality and write a 5 page paper. But the rain so enticing, I want to fall asleep.
goodnight sweet void.