Just breathe.

Today Parker, (the kid I nanny for) walked for the first time. He took two steps and he stood up without holding onto anything. But I was so excited. I haven't been that excited in a long time, and hes not even mine. I have been getting in the grove of things (his schedule and temperament) and been forming sort of an attachment with him. Its weird because he can't even talk, but hes so smart. when you ask him "Parker, where's your shirt?" He smiles really big and yanks at his shirt a few times.
Well today, after showing his mom that he can sort of walk, She told me that his grandmother will be moving to Texas the week after next and that I won't be needed anymore. I know she feels bad, she told me and her eyes were watering and I understand she feels like she can't deny her mother-in-law, I just feel so disappointed.With this job and Jaspers I was making just enough money to save for Spain and be comfortable at the same time. I can work at jaspers now more but in all honesty, I don't like it. I work there because I need to and because it is temporary. Now i have to work there every day. Bummer.

The more i think about it, and I know this sounds dramatic, I wish that she'd call me and say, Actually, Raquel, we like you better than grandma.


But I didn't think id be this sad, I feel so discouraged and I don't think i can get nearly the same amount of hours at Jaspers alone. On top of that I planed my school schedule around it so if i were to find another nanny job, It could only be Tuesdays and Thursdays and the chances of that are slim.

I'm anxious to see what God has in store. I don't really understand it. I felt like everything was right and perfect, and maybe that was just it, if everything is perfect I'm not growing. I trust that God will provide for me, I just wish that I didn't have to stop my nanny job, I really enjoyed it.For once I didn't dread going to work.

I know that this problem is a grain of sand compared to people who get laid off and can no longer feed their families. I know I am being a baby, I am just discouraged.