Where is this country headed?
Really take a look at the changes in the past 100 woopty-doo days and see how much has changed. Most of it under your nose. Does anyone out there care? Does anyone even realize! one little change at a time. Where will we be 4 years from now...
Everyone needs to stop just going with the flow and realize how much change is really happening.
One thing that I just cannot get over is the carelessness with abortion. I don't understand the numbness to it. Do some research on it and tell me if that doesn't give you a glimpse into the hearts of your leaders.
Imagine a baby has just been induced prematurely and left to die as a form of abortion. Imagine the baby put in a room with no comfort or medical care to suffer and die. All of its energy being used to fight for one breath after another. Did you know that your president DEFENDED that?
REALLY?
That's beyond "choice".
This country has sat back and watched one slow change after the other. This is beyond stupid math and bad ideas. This is our country and everyone is just going with the flow and accepting change. Its fair enough if someone is informed and still agrees, but i promise you that if you tested the understanding of the American people of what was really going on, and what they REALLY believed and stood for, it wouldn't be such a "go with the flow" attitude.
I'm just tired of people not paying attention and not caring.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Almost done..
Well... Ive almost made it.
I am taking tonight off from everything. Today I sat in the sun and read (nothing school related). Then i went on a walk with my mom, and now I am going to go excersize which has slipped out of my agenda somehow this week. This week was really rough. I had a test Monday, an oral presentation Tuesday, a Check off Wednesday and today a Simulation. I'm glad its over. Have you ever had one of those weeks where you keep over sleeping, losing things and just being really irresponsible? I haven't had any trouble with that all semester and then all the sudden the past few days I have been over sleeping, couldn't find my scrubs (found them in the towel closet?) or my work out shoes (today I found them laying on top of one of the baskets I tore apart looking in..) This morning i woke up got ready, was doing good with time. As i started to make my bed I looked at the clock to see how much time i had.. "oh I'm ok its only 7:50".... 7:50!!!! I was supposed to leave at 6:50!! I had set my clock for 6:50 instead of 5:50... And i didn't even notice until I was done getting ready!I was so mad at myself.
Tis why I am taking a break tonight! I think my brain is over worked...
I can't believe how much I have learned this semester. I don't mean that boastfully but I have had so much information shoved down my throat and its finally starting to organize its self in my brain and all come together. I have a love/hate relationship with nursing school. I love what I'm learning, I love the friends I have made and the opportunities i get in the hospital to practice. I hate being nervous but sometimes wonder if its the challenging and scary situations that I like to put myself in the most. I think its because I have always been a very timid nervous person about everything. Its a part of me I don't think will ever go away 100% but Ive learned to push myself out of my comfort zone. When I learned to do shots, the time I was supposed to pick out my first patient I was so nervous and hoped that I didn't get one who needed an injection. But to my own surprise ended up purposefully picking a guy with diabetes to get over my fear so that I wouldn't have to be scared about it any more. I think Spain has taught me that valuable lesson and I will try not to ignore it. Sometimes its when you force yourself out of your comfort zone when you learn the most. I love TWU and how they teach us so much more than academics. They really emphasise being a good nurse. "What kind of nurse do you want to be" is something one of my instructors always says. Nurses can get away with not going into the Patients room but documenting that they did, or they can go in there, do an assessment (they DO know how to do that you know) and stay on top of things informing the physician and requesting orders. I used to always wonder if I would be a "good" nurse but now i know that its not just being good at it its actually doing it and doing it with the right intentions, to be the patient's advocate; knowing that I know I will be a good one.
I know I sound brainwashed but its interesting to go into a hospital and see nurses who are so wonderful and nurses who don't care.
The hate aspect is that I feel that I am neglecting everyone around me. I try so hard to keep my head above the water yet I forget about the ones I love. Lately I have been trying to be better at it. you just get so consumed.
I still think about Spain. Its so surreal now. Sometimes I just lay in bed not able to sleep because months of memories are just flashing through my mind. I feel like my heart is still in two places, and its hard. I miss my friends and the culture there. I miss the lifestyle and it makes it harder when I don't have time to enjoy the things i did there. I hate when people say they don't have time to enjoy things, because its about making time, but really, I do, I just cant make as much time as before. I feel like a part of me is missing, and I hate admitting that because I shouldn't define myself that way. I just miss it.
I want to study abroad again next summer in Costa Rica but I am more afraid after I have studied abroad than i was before I went to Spain. I think I am a little scared to get attached again. but...[refer to previously mentioned life lesson]
I am taking tonight off from everything. Today I sat in the sun and read (nothing school related). Then i went on a walk with my mom, and now I am going to go excersize which has slipped out of my agenda somehow this week. This week was really rough. I had a test Monday, an oral presentation Tuesday, a Check off Wednesday and today a Simulation. I'm glad its over. Have you ever had one of those weeks where you keep over sleeping, losing things and just being really irresponsible? I haven't had any trouble with that all semester and then all the sudden the past few days I have been over sleeping, couldn't find my scrubs (found them in the towel closet?) or my work out shoes (today I found them laying on top of one of the baskets I tore apart looking in..) This morning i woke up got ready, was doing good with time. As i started to make my bed I looked at the clock to see how much time i had.. "oh I'm ok its only 7:50".... 7:50!!!! I was supposed to leave at 6:50!! I had set my clock for 6:50 instead of 5:50... And i didn't even notice until I was done getting ready!I was so mad at myself.
Tis why I am taking a break tonight! I think my brain is over worked...
I can't believe how much I have learned this semester. I don't mean that boastfully but I have had so much information shoved down my throat and its finally starting to organize its self in my brain and all come together. I have a love/hate relationship with nursing school. I love what I'm learning, I love the friends I have made and the opportunities i get in the hospital to practice. I hate being nervous but sometimes wonder if its the challenging and scary situations that I like to put myself in the most. I think its because I have always been a very timid nervous person about everything. Its a part of me I don't think will ever go away 100% but Ive learned to push myself out of my comfort zone. When I learned to do shots, the time I was supposed to pick out my first patient I was so nervous and hoped that I didn't get one who needed an injection. But to my own surprise ended up purposefully picking a guy with diabetes to get over my fear so that I wouldn't have to be scared about it any more. I think Spain has taught me that valuable lesson and I will try not to ignore it. Sometimes its when you force yourself out of your comfort zone when you learn the most. I love TWU and how they teach us so much more than academics. They really emphasise being a good nurse. "What kind of nurse do you want to be" is something one of my instructors always says. Nurses can get away with not going into the Patients room but documenting that they did, or they can go in there, do an assessment (they DO know how to do that you know) and stay on top of things informing the physician and requesting orders. I used to always wonder if I would be a "good" nurse but now i know that its not just being good at it its actually doing it and doing it with the right intentions, to be the patient's advocate; knowing that I know I will be a good one.
I know I sound brainwashed but its interesting to go into a hospital and see nurses who are so wonderful and nurses who don't care.
The hate aspect is that I feel that I am neglecting everyone around me. I try so hard to keep my head above the water yet I forget about the ones I love. Lately I have been trying to be better at it. you just get so consumed.
I still think about Spain. Its so surreal now. Sometimes I just lay in bed not able to sleep because months of memories are just flashing through my mind. I feel like my heart is still in two places, and its hard. I miss my friends and the culture there. I miss the lifestyle and it makes it harder when I don't have time to enjoy the things i did there. I hate when people say they don't have time to enjoy things, because its about making time, but really, I do, I just cant make as much time as before. I feel like a part of me is missing, and I hate admitting that because I shouldn't define myself that way. I just miss it.
I want to study abroad again next summer in Costa Rica but I am more afraid after I have studied abroad than i was before I went to Spain. I think I am a little scared to get attached again. but...[refer to previously mentioned life lesson]
Monday, March 9, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
There in my working...
God in my living,
there in my breathing ,
God in my waking,
God in my sleeping,
God in my resting
There in my working,
God in my thinking,
God in my speaking,
Be my everything
God in my hoping
there my dreaming,
God in my watching,
God in my waiting,
God in my laughing
there in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing
Be my everything
God in my hoping
God in my dreaming...
Be my everything
there in my breathing ,
God in my waking,
God in my sleeping,
God in my resting
There in my working,
God in my thinking,
God in my speaking,
Be my everything
God in my hoping
there my dreaming,
God in my watching,
God in my waiting,
God in my laughing
there in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing
Be my everything
God in my hoping
God in my dreaming...
Be my everything
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Oh how i miss...
Well, Ive been home for a little over 2 weeks now, and its so good to be home. My heart will never forget what an experience I had over there. Ive always had a heart for travel. I love diving into new cultures and i love everything about the Spanish language. Tonight a program came on about Spain. Apparently its a whole show about Spain and every time they do a different city. It was about Barcelona and it was fun to watch with my dad and let him see what a little of it was like. I miss it so much. I also miss all of my American friends that i made in the program that are all now dispersed all over in their home states. I hope I will see them again. The hardest part for me I think is that i feel like my heart is in two places. I went over there, built relationships, fell in love with the language, my host family, my teachers, the little city i lived in, the pueblo, the restaurants and night life. Life there is so simple. Americans are too materialistic. period. I know that there are materialistic people all over the world, but i love the fact that credit cards aren't very common to use, that most people live in small apartments, have small TVs, and (the older generation) calls cameras a "a little photo machine". I love that you can and have to walk almost everywhere. That people take the time of day to shut everything down and spend lunch with family. I love that kids there can be kids, and that parents play with them or stop in the middle of walking somewhere to play their version of ring around the rosey. I love everything. Ok, not EVERTHING. The food there is not so great, and everyone smokes, and people bump into you with out saying excuse me.
But my point is that over there, life is enjoyed to the fullest.
Ive always hated that phrase "live life to the fullest" but its true. Every single day there is interesting and relaxed. Its not GO GO GO. You walk, take in your surroundings, sit in the plaza, take a break for cafe or tapas or a glass of wine. Spend time with friends and family more. Its life, you only have one. And I'm not saying completely self indulge and be lazy, I'm saying enjoy it! Walk more, take a break for Goodness sake, eat with family and i don't mean in front of the TV.
I miss Spain so much, (i wonder how many more times i can say it), but I cant keep dwelling on how much i hate the fast pace life and materialism here and let it give me a bad attitude. I have to bring a little Spain to my own world. I know there's real life. I know there's hard workers, and things to accomplish. But in the end, none of that REALLY matters. Its the little things, and I am determined to find them here too. It may not be as wonderful or as quaint or original. But i will. Whatever that means.
But my point is that over there, life is enjoyed to the fullest.
Ive always hated that phrase "live life to the fullest" but its true. Every single day there is interesting and relaxed. Its not GO GO GO. You walk, take in your surroundings, sit in the plaza, take a break for cafe or tapas or a glass of wine. Spend time with friends and family more. Its life, you only have one. And I'm not saying completely self indulge and be lazy, I'm saying enjoy it! Walk more, take a break for Goodness sake, eat with family and i don't mean in front of the TV.
I miss Spain so much, (i wonder how many more times i can say it), but I cant keep dwelling on how much i hate the fast pace life and materialism here and let it give me a bad attitude. I have to bring a little Spain to my own world. I know there's real life. I know there's hard workers, and things to accomplish. But in the end, none of that REALLY matters. Its the little things, and I am determined to find them here too. It may not be as wonderful or as quaint or original. But i will. Whatever that means.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Some thoughts
So as you know I am now in spain and have been for a few days. and if you know me only by this blog, you may think i am a negative person by the following, however, i absolutely love it here. I can't stop sending emails about how much I am in love with the life and the city here.
However. I have kind of reached a point today where i feel like blogging. Tomorrow we take a placement exam. Depending on how we score, I am placed in a certain level of spanish classes.
Being surrounded by a language you aren't fluent in is a beautiful thing. Your constantly learning, on the streets, in my host home, when I want to buy something, When im ordering food, when I need to know where some place is and the fastest way to get there. When I am unsure of something or simply just to greet someone passing by. But Its also very draining. ESPECAILY when everyone speaks quickly and with a very thick accent that you arent used to. This goal is so much different than something like nursing for example. I am in school to be a nurse, i know it will be hard, but i know that i will be a nurse, and i know that i can do it. This is different. I feel like there is this light at the end of the tunnel that i want to reach SO BAD and i feel like its just impossible. I know its not impossible but it seems like it. It seems so far away. When im in the states and im speaking a little here and there and when im taking classes about spanish its understandable, i feel confident, i feel like i know a lot. But here its so different. ... a big ego crusher. I feel like i know nothing. I feel like just saying the simplest phrase to someone is going to open up this big giant scary conversation that i wont be able to follow. I feel .... stupid. And i hate it. I hate having people view me that way. I hate being that girl who cant communicate... which is what i do. I communicate. I ramble. I like to describe and explain things. (hence my over-descriptive blogs and stories). So not being able to do so is very difficult for me. I know what everyones going to say... It will be ok, you'll pick up on it soon, you've only been here a few days... etc.. etc.. and i agree. its just hard. Plain and simple. Its draining, its frustrating. But i will work hard, I will get where i want to go. I will reach that light at the end of the tunnel... even if its in 10 years. But i will not leave this place feeling like i didnt give it my all.
And on that note
I am leaving to go study.
However. I have kind of reached a point today where i feel like blogging. Tomorrow we take a placement exam. Depending on how we score, I am placed in a certain level of spanish classes.
Being surrounded by a language you aren't fluent in is a beautiful thing. Your constantly learning, on the streets, in my host home, when I want to buy something, When im ordering food, when I need to know where some place is and the fastest way to get there. When I am unsure of something or simply just to greet someone passing by. But Its also very draining. ESPECAILY when everyone speaks quickly and with a very thick accent that you arent used to. This goal is so much different than something like nursing for example. I am in school to be a nurse, i know it will be hard, but i know that i will be a nurse, and i know that i can do it. This is different. I feel like there is this light at the end of the tunnel that i want to reach SO BAD and i feel like its just impossible. I know its not impossible but it seems like it. It seems so far away. When im in the states and im speaking a little here and there and when im taking classes about spanish its understandable, i feel confident, i feel like i know a lot. But here its so different. ... a big ego crusher. I feel like i know nothing. I feel like just saying the simplest phrase to someone is going to open up this big giant scary conversation that i wont be able to follow. I feel .... stupid. And i hate it. I hate having people view me that way. I hate being that girl who cant communicate... which is what i do. I communicate. I ramble. I like to describe and explain things. (hence my over-descriptive blogs and stories). So not being able to do so is very difficult for me. I know what everyones going to say... It will be ok, you'll pick up on it soon, you've only been here a few days... etc.. etc.. and i agree. its just hard. Plain and simple. Its draining, its frustrating. But i will work hard, I will get where i want to go. I will reach that light at the end of the tunnel... even if its in 10 years. But i will not leave this place feeling like i didnt give it my all.
And on that note
I am leaving to go study.
Monday, September 22, 2008
It's Finally Here!
Well, the time has come. I leave Wednesday morning to go to Spain. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ok, sorry...
Anyways, so I have done most of my packing, I have this feeling like I have a million things to do but I dont really know what they are. I keep trying to make a to-do list but that doesn't really work out according to plan.
Im a little nervous because the first 4 days we are there we stay in Madrid, and pretty much are thrown into touring. which is fine with me because, well, its Spain, but Its just going to be a busy few days before we even go to Salamanca and settle in.
Ive never had so many different emotions about one thing before in my life!
Next time I blog I will be in Spain!
ok, sorry...
Anyways, so I have done most of my packing, I have this feeling like I have a million things to do but I dont really know what they are. I keep trying to make a to-do list but that doesn't really work out according to plan.
Im a little nervous because the first 4 days we are there we stay in Madrid, and pretty much are thrown into touring. which is fine with me because, well, its Spain, but Its just going to be a busy few days before we even go to Salamanca and settle in.
Ive never had so many different emotions about one thing before in my life!
Next time I blog I will be in Spain!
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